


Love, Three Ways

by butcherbaker17maker



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-05
Updated: 2016-09-07
Packaged: 2018-08-13 07:00:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7966969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/butcherbaker17maker/pseuds/butcherbaker17maker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Part 1: Joshua pines after people he loves, but he can't have. Jeonghan and Seungcheol have a very special present prepared for Joshua's birthday.<br/>Part 2: Misunderstandings galore. Post-sex confusion is confusing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part One

Joshua wasn’t entirely sure what he was doing, he just knew that if he stayed in the same room as _them_ for much longer they would drive him mad. So he simply made the excuse that he had made plans with a friend for dinner, donned his winter gear and _legged it_.

He knew he wouldn’t be missed. Not by Jeonghan, nor by Seungcheol.

The frost in the wind bit at the small slit of cheek that was still bared to the outside world from over his face mask and scarf, and under his hat. It really was a harsh sting, a _nip_ that made him simply dig his hands further into his pockets, huddle his face deeper into his scarf and march on. No matter how cold it was out today, suffering the ice was _far_ superior than going home.

Joshua trudged through the sludge in the streets, taking himself out to the shopping district in Hongdae. There were few Christmas lights and decorations to start with, in Seoul, and most of them had already been cleared away: the dullness of it all made him a little homesick. Even though California wasn’t what you would call a skiing destination, rarely hitting freezing temperatures, its inhabitants played along with the festivities just as much as anywhere else. Joshua missed the fairy lights, the angel’s dust, Christmas trees with pretty, glittery stars on the tops and how the streets were always lined with people happily wishing each other happy holidays.

When the cold got to be too much, Joshua ducked into a small café. He had to thank his lucky stars that his parents had had the sense of Korea’s winter that he didn’t: the coat they had sent the first year was a life-saver. Grey wool on the outside. Fleece lining on the inside. A fleece-lined hood and fleece-lined pockets, too. It ensured that even walking through a blizzard, Joshua’s hands would still be warm without needing gloves.

“Uh… just a cappuccino, please,” he stammered at the girl behind the counter, pulling his wallet from his inside pocket.

She was pretty, and seemed about Joshua’s age. He stared real hard. She had smooth skin and long eyelashes; long, luxurious, silky hair that seemed to curl naturally, and a happy smile on her face. But no matter how much Joshua stared, he didn’t feel the same way.

 _Why can’t I be normal and fall in love with a perfectly lovely young girl?_ he wondered to himself, handing over the money. _Would that really be so difficult? Maybe I’m just wired wrong._

Joshua took his cup over to a window seat, far enough away from the door to not feel the breeze when it opened, but close to the main street so he could see people walking by. He wasn’t much of a people-watcher until Vernon introduced it to him years ago, when they first met.

Now he could happily watch strangers go by on the streets and lose himself in the bustle of the world outside while he sat with a cup of coffee, head nodding gently to the soft tune flowing through his headphones.

The issue wasn’t that he was falling in love with people of the same gender as him. Nah. He’d resigned himself to that fact long ago. Very long ago, in fact. He’d pretty much always known. Girls were a weird, foreign entity; soft and squishy and _nice,_ he supposed, but they weren’t quite like boys. Not the same.

Being gay didn’t bother him. And really, it was easy to say that what really bothered him about the whole situation was Jeonghan, or Seungcheol, but he would be lying. Joshua knew what really irked him was himself: his inability to make decisions and follow them through. His inability to choose between one and two. His headstrong will to both have his cake and eat it too.

On one hand, there was Seungcheol. He had been a bit of an enigma at first, not quite mature and not quite childish, but he quickly grew out of the awkward phase. Seungcheol was brilliant. He was a leader: not a _natural_ leader, not really, but maybe he was all the better for it. It didn’t come naturally to him, so he always put in extra effort to do it better. He was kind and soft with the members, but commanding and unbending with the group. He constantly encouraged, constantly lifted the others up. He didn’t take center stage for his position as a leader, and he could spend hours talking to any one of the men under his care.

Then there was Jeonghan. He’d been such a lost puppy in the beginning, thrown into a room of boys who already had established friendships, little groups of favorites. Joshua had welcomed him with open arms, and had never _ever_ regretted it. Jeonghan was cut-throat sassy, not always knowing whether he took it too far or not. But Jeonghan was soft and accommodating, allowing anybody to use him however they needed. Jeonghan was shit with words, and great with physical messages: a ruffle of the hair from him was an entire paragraph for normal people. Jeonghan was full to the brim with love to dole out to others, and he never tired of it.

The physical difference between them both was almost hilarious: Seungcheol was built thick, in every way. He worked out for it, sure, but there was a natural largeness about him. He had grown into a man’s frame, and he had a man’s body to match it. He was tall and strong and had an air of machoism about him that wasn’t forced. And where Seungcheol exuded strength and stability, Jeonghan was opposite: he had delicate features, and a thin frame accentuated by his preferred fashion style. He watched his weight.

It didn’t make much sense: there was no reason for him to feel this kind of way about two people who were so different. Seungcheol’s smile made his stomach do flips; Jeonghan’s made him weak at the knees. It was so stupid to be in love with two people at the same time. _How_ he’d fallen in love didn’t make sense, either: with Jeonghan it came on slowly, over days and weeks and months and probably years. With Seungcheol he went to bed one night as normal as he ever was, and woke up infatuated with the man who had to shave three times as often as anybody else in the dorm.

It wasn’t like he hadn’t already tried to stop liking one or the other or even both of them. Eventually he had just decided that it doesn’t work that way. When you feel a certain way about somebody, he had gathered, you just felt that way. It came on naturally, not be design, and that was how the feeling would eventually leave. He loved both of them, however stubbornly he didn’t want to admit it. And he wanted them to be happy.

But why did they have to be happy _like this_? Joshua wouldn’t have minded them dating each other. He even would have done his best to be happy for them, in his way. And he guessed in a way he was happy for them. Seeing them both so happy was nice. But they were so _sappy_ and _gooey_ and all over each other it was hard to stomach. The other members didn’t seem to struggle with it as much as Joshua did, but that was probably because they didn’t fantasize about kissing the space behind Jeonghan’s ear where his hair met his skin, or about rubbing Seungcheol’s shoulders after a hard day’s work and going all the way down to his butt.

Joshua sighed deeply. The streets just seemed to be full of happy couples holding gloved hands in the freezing cold, and the sight of giggling girls and protective men did little to help him sort out his feelings.

He already kind of knew there wasn’t anything he _could_ sort out. He just had to stand by and suffer. He had to watch somebody else play with Jeonghan’s hair; had to watch somebody else tuck Seungcheol in after a long night. He had to listen in the middle of the night when they were too loud, the way somebody else made Seungcheol moan and Jeonghan pant.

It didn’t matter that it was them, together. It just mattered that it _wasn’t him_. That he had been an option and was passed over for somebody else. And it wasn’t that he blamed Jeonghan for wanting to cling to Seungcheol’s thick frame, or that he blamed Seungcheol for wanting to grip Jeonghan’s skinny thighs. No, he couldn’t blame them for that. He was just bitter, sad, and lonely.

Worst thing was, he couldn’t tell anybody. Because if he did, that would just make things awkward for everybody. It was better to suffer alone.

Better to be alone.

And yeah, sometimes Joshua had to take stock of his life and swallow the Truth Pill that if he felt this way forever, he might stay alone, and die alone. He didn’t expect to feel like this forever – unrequited loves usually only last so long – but the chance was there that he would always be in love with Jeonghan’s voice and Seungcheol’s eyes, and that he’d never learn to let them go.

Oh well. He’d worry about that when he was in his thirties.

With the cup of coffee finished he knew it was time to brave the snow again: the wind had gotten stronger outside, almost blowing a few people over, and he wasn’t looking forward to it, but maybe being outside would distract him a bit more.

Outside did distract him, but in the most unpleasant way possible. He tried hopping from store to store, but nothing peaked his interest, and soon he found himself floating back home.

To where he knew they wouldn’t have moved: they would still be seated on that couch, Seungcheol’s arm still around Jeonghan’s shoulders, Jeonghan’s head still leaning on Seungcheol’s chest. Seungcheol’s large, rough fingers would still be tracing little patterns on the backs of Jeonghan’s hands. They’d still be watching the sappy movie channel on TV. Jeonghan might already have fallen asleep in his boyfriend’s arms.

Joshua checked the time before getting out of the subway. _23:46_. He’d stayed out a little later than he meant to. When it got dark so early, it was hard to tell the difference between night and day. He walked home from the station carefully and tried to make as little noise as possible coming home. He knew Seungcheol and Jeonghan would be the only ones home. The other members were off in various places – parties, staying over with sunbaes, gone home, whatever.

He was right. Jeonghan and Seungcheol were still on the couch. Jeonghan asleep in his arms.

Seungcheol looked up in surprise – Joshua must not have closed the door softly enough – and quickly jostled his arm. “Jeonghannie,” he whispered softly. “Hey, Jeonghannie, wake up. He’s home.”

“Don’t wake him,” Joshua pleaded, tip-toeing on his way to his room. “I’ll just go off-”

“He told me to wake him up when you got back,” Seungcheol contradicted, making Joshua halt in his tracks. “Jeonghannie? Haaaaannie? Joshua’s back. Joshua came home.”

Joshua slowly took off the heavy coat, flinging it over the back of a wooden chair. “What’s wrong with him?” he asked, still whispering for some reason.

Seungcheol just nodded at a bottle on the table. A wine bottle. An empty wine bottle.

“What did he do that for?” Joshua slumped into an armchair, waiting for one of the loves of his life to wake up properly.

Seungcheol sent him a look. “Because he’s an idiot. He got worried you were out so late. I told him you’d be back, though. Jeonghan! Didn’t you say you wanted to give Joshua his present now?”

“Present?” Joshua blanked.

Jeonghan was finally roused: he stood up and flung himself in Joshua’s general direction, landing close enough: he got down on his knees and crawled on the floor until he was right in front of Joshua, between his legs awkwardly. “It’s past midnight,” he mumbled. “It’s officially the 30th of December. Happy birthday!”

Joshua’s mind went reeling, but somewhere he already realized it was his birthday. “You don’t have to give me anything, Hannie,” he smiled gently. “And certainly not know. You can give it later. It’s late and you’re drunk. You should be in bed.”

“No!” Jeonghan worked to try and give himself a clearer look, blinking profusely. “I prepared this for a while! I want your birthday present to be perfect!”

Joshua couldn’t help but give Jeonghan a soft smile. Even intoxicated, he was adorable. “Alright then. What did you get me? Did you get me a cake?”

“Actually,” Seungcheol murmured, getting off the couch to lean over the armchair from behind Joshua’s head, “we prepared something together.”

“Oh?” Joshua tilted his head to look at Seungcheol, but had to look away again before he couldn’t anymore. He took a deep breath.

“It’s not something you can eat,” Jeonghan teased, pink-faced from the alcohol.

Joshua blinked, waiting.

“It’s not something you can return either,” Seungcheol mumbled, crossing his arms across Joshua’s shoulders cutely from behind. “It’s not a bought gift.”

“Something homemade?”

Jeonghan just giggled happily to himself.

“You could say that,” Seungcheol answered slowly. “Jeonghan?”

Jeonghan put his hands on Joshua’s knees, hoisting himself up off the ground that way – straight up to Joshua’s face, where he gave the birthday boy a slightly sloppy closed-mouth kiss.

Joshua froze as Jeonghan tried to make it a little more open-mouthed kiss.

“Jeonghan,” Seungcheol chastised lowly. “You _promised_ me you would explain it to him before starting. In case he doesn’t want our gift.”

Jeonghan pulled off Joshua with a petulant little whine. “But Cheol! _I_ want him to want our gift!”

The leader folded his arms across his chest. “No. You said you would explain our gift to him first. Make good on your promise. Don’t half-ass when it’s about something as important as somebody else’s feelings.”

Jeonghan sobered a tiny bit at that, nodding. He looked at Joshua again, who was still frozen, petrified. “We love you,” Jeonghan told him. “Let’s have sex together.”

It took a few seconds for that to seep in. When it did, Joshua couldn’t move. He could only whisper. “ _What_?”

“Jeonghan isn’t explaining it right,” Seungcheol grunted unhappily. “You’ve been really down lately. We want to make it our business to make you happy again. Properly. Together.”

“By… having… _sex_ ,” Joshua chokes out.

“Exactly!” Jeonghan chirped.

“We’ll take good care of you, you’ll get to finish first,” Seungcheol promised, voice low and gravelly. “We want you to be with us. And unless we’ve read all the signs wrong, you want to be with us, too. We really want to make you happy again, Joshua.”

Jeonghan’s hands on Joshua’s knees chafed a little. The rubbing was meant to be comforting, but it was all a little much for Joshua to handle.

After a few moments of silence, Jeonghan’s expression began to wither away. Even Seungcheol got worried at the silence. “Joshua?” he asked calmly, moving to Joshua’s side. “… _did_ we read you wrong? We thought you… liked us. And would want this. But if we’re mistaken… you _can_ reject us. Of course.”

“Gi-give me a minute.” Joshua put his hands in front of his face, breathing heavily into them. He would never have guessed he would be put in this situation. Where both Seungcheol and Jeonghan were offering to have sex with him, _together_ , for a night. As a present. Because they had _found out_. They _both_ knew how much Joshua loved them. How hard he had fallen.

It was embarrassing. Too embarrassing. He wanted the floor to come up and swallow him hole. They both knew Joshua had this infatuation with both of them. And they were taking such pity on him that they were willing to give him what he wanted, for one night. He was being pitied. Pity-fucked. That was what he was being offered. And if he had any sort of pride, he’d reject the offer. Pretend they were wrong. Pretend he didn’t like either of them.

But it was there. A chance. An opportunity. He would never be a boyfriend to either of them, a life mate. He’d been resigned to that since they started dating each other. But he had a chance to touch them. To love them. To be the cause of their moans and groans. To make them smile. To be _that_ intimate with them, just for one night and one night only. For a few hours, he could have everything he wanted.

He knew there would be a long-term after effect to follow such a stupid decision. Such a foolish thing to think of. He’d regret it later, when it was awkward. When he was the subject of snickers because he let himself be pity-fucked with people he lived with, worked with. The whole idea was a shambles, and he might not be able to live with himself afterwards.

But it was so tempting. He could play with Jeonghan’s hair. Touch Seungcheol’s chest. Grip Jeonghan’s thighs. Sigh in Seungcheol’s ear.

_Damned be the consequences._

Jeonghan looked up at his boyfriend worriedly. Were they really wrong? God, he hoped not. Or this would be so embarrassing. “Cheol?”

“Just give him a minute.” Seungcheol patted one of Jeonghan’s hands. “Maybe his brain needs to defreeze from being outside for a while.”

_Damned be the consequences. Damned be the consequences. Damned be the consequences!_

Joshua opened his eyes and looked at the two people he loved most in the whole world. “I-” he stated very shyly, going pink, “-would like to have my birthday present very much, please, if it’s okay.”

Jeonghan jolted forward to kiss him again, and this time, Joshua was prepared.

 _I can’t believe it,_ he thought. His fingers stroked some hair off Jeonghan’s face, and his free hand curled around his waist. _I can’t believe I’m here, I’m kissing him. I’m kissing him. He’s so beautiful. He’s so soft. He tastes a little fruity. He’s kissing me. I love him. I love him so much._

Seungcheol’s throaty laugh made them pause a moment. “You look so pretty like that,” he smiled. “Come on, Jeonghannie. Let’s go to the bedroom where it’s nice and warm.” He took Jeonghan’s hand, and for a moment, Joshua wasn’t sure if he was included in the invitation.

Then Jeonghan gripped Joshua’s hand, and pulled him along too.

The bedroom _was_ warm: both the radiator and a space heater had been blasting heat for who knew how long. It was almost tropical. Seungcheol and Jeonghan had shifted the furniture to put the large bed in the center, beautiful, clean white sheets on it.

 _Well, this is awkward_ Joshua thought, simply standing in the middle of the room. He’d never done anything remotely close to the whole _sex_ thing before, and here he was about to do it with two people at once.

“Here.” Seungcheol took both his hands and led him to the bed slowly. He sat down first, then gripped Joshua’s hips and helped him straddle Seungcheol’s lap carefully. “Don’t worry,” he said softly, looking up at the man in his lap. “We’ll take care of you. All you have to do is feel good.”

Seungcheol’s kiss was softer even than Jeonghan’s. It was so sweet and soft, Joshua felt like he was going to drown in it. When he opened his mouth and invited him in, Joshua was met with warmth and compliance. He was allowed to roam whichever way he liked, allowed to explore what it was like to French kiss until Seungcheol sucked on his tongue a little, making his jaw drop.

“Sorry,” he whispered, hearing the sound Joshua made. “Too fast?”

All Joshua could do was shake his head. No, it wasn’t too fast, it was perfect. He wanted this. He was only going to get one night out of it. He wanted everything, and he wanted to remember everything, too.

“Ugh, come here.” Seungcheol pulled him in again for another kiss, this time by his collar. They broke apart only so that Joshua’s sweater could be lifted over his head. After that, Seungcheol’s thick fingers speedily made their way down Joshua’s shirt buttons, pushing it off his shoulders.

“Fuck,” a voice muttered from the side. It made them both stop to look at him: Jeonghan gulped, pointing. “Look at him,” he whined. “With his shirt off his shoulders like that, making out with you, looking so scandalized. He’s so fucking pretty, I could scream.”

Joshua felt that that was only fair, considering it was how he felt every time he saw Jeonghan’s face. Instead of voicing that opinion, though, Joshua just leaned out, desperate for Jeonghan to kiss him again.

The two couldn’t be compared: they were both such excellent kissers, they both made Joshua dizzy. From one to the other and back, he never noticed his shirt being entirely stripped from his body.

Seungcheol’s strong, thick arms wrapped around Joshua’s waist. “Hold on,” he said softly before picking Joshua up and turning, gently laying him down on the bed.

Joshua couldn’t focus on what else he was doing, because Jeonghan was there, leaning over him, upside-down, leaning in to be kissed again. Kissing somebody upside-down was hard work, with too many teeth being in the wrong place, but it didn’t really matter because Jeonghan was so soft and his hair was everywhere and Joshua was on the same bed as him. And they were together. And they were all _happy_. It didn’t seem real.

A hand swept across Joshua’s collarbones, making him gasp: they both looked up to Seungcheol, who had neatly discarded all his clothes and was now admiring Joshua’s neck with his fingers, sliding them over his skin, up and down. “You’re so pretty,” he whispered.

Jeonghan withdrew to do the same to his clothes: Joshua simply stared at the man hovering over him, ticking his throat with his fingers. He stared at how beautiful Seungcheol really was. How toned, and even, and thick, and sweet, and beautiful. He stared, until his body took over; until Seungcheol’s fingers had flitted down to a soft, pink nub. His back arched off the bed and his mouth made an embarrassing noise he couldn’t stifle, as he let the feeling buzz through him. It felt weird, sensitive, soft and different, very different.

Seungcheol’s fingertips were a little rough. There was a very light sandpapery feeling when they crossed his nipple again and again: a motion that made Joshua’s body move without his approval. His back arched, and his hips jerked, and he just wanted to be kissed.

When Jeonghan returned, he was stark naked, and equally as beautiful in an entirely different way. Joshua would have stared for longer, but Jeonghan simply bent over the nipple that wasn’t being abused, and let his tongue run over it.

Seungcheol followed suit, both of them teasing Joshua’s nubs with their mouths – sucking, licking, blowing, grazing their teeth over them over and over, gripping Joshua’s body so he didn’t twitch too hard and hurt himself. It felt so freeing – so absolutely _amazing_ , that Joshua couldn’t hold it in. His little gasps and _oh, oh, oh!_ s were soft, but they were more than enough to encourage his lovers that they were on the right course.

Jeonghan reached for Joshua’s belt first, and he whimpered.

They both stopped, looking at Joshua, then each other, then back to Joshua.

“Are you okay?” Seungcheol asked quietly. “You can stop if you like.”

“N-no.” Joshua’s little whimper sounded so pathetic, so _desperate_ , he had to work to get it back to a more normal tone. “I just – um – h-how does it work?”

Jeonghan smiled happily, hand working again. “We’ll figure that out on the way,” he cooed happily, moving to use both hands to free Joshua from his jeans.

Seungcheol moved up to thrust his tongue into Joshua’s mouth once, hotly. “Didn’t I say we’ll take care of you?” he whispered softly. “We’ll take such good care of you, Joshua.” He cupped Joshua’s face in both his hands gently before going in for another passionate kiss, laying to rest all the worries he could have had.

Jeonghan wasn’t really surprised to find Joshua half-hard already: he lost little time in discarding Joshua’s clothing, simply pressing his lips against the inside of Joshua’s thigh, just above the knee. The feeling made Joshua gasp _very_ loudly.

“Oh, fuck.” Joshua hadn’t realized. Hadn’t thought this through. They were actually seeing him naked. _They_ were naked. They were going to pleasure him. They were going to touch him. He hadn’t really thought it would really be happening to him.

Seungcheol moved, too: he just used his hands, one going back to Joshua’s nipple and the other slowly massaging little circles on the inside of his other thigh.

Joshua put a hand over his face in pure embarrassment, but quickly removed it. He was only going to get this _once_. He wanted to see _everything_ that was happening. He propped himself on his elbows to watch, no matter how embarrassing.

The two of them were just enjoying their way up his legs; it tickled, but there was a feeling much deeper stirring in his stomach that made him anxious. He wasn’t sure if he wanted them to stop before they got too far, or whether he wanted them to be too far already.

Jeonghan’s face pulled into the crook of Joshua’s hip, between his crotch and his leg, and it was as if he couldn’t breathe.

Jeonghan’s tongue darted out, gently sliding over one of Joshua’s balls, and the boy had to throw his head back, keening.

“Oh, fuck,” he whimpered.

Jeonghan wasn’t finished. His mouth made its way over Joshua’s balls one by one, sucking lightly before his tongue found the underside of his cock and began to caress it with little kitten licks as Seungcheol’s hand cupped his balls.

“N-n…” Joshua wanted to say _no_ , but there was nothing to say no to. It felt too good – teasing, but it was Jeonghan’s face there, eyes closed in happiness.

“Seungcheol, please?” Jeonghan asked kindly.

Before Joshua could comprehend what that meant, two tongues were sliding over his cock, one on either side, meeting over the slit in the head. He watched in disbelief as Seungcheol and Jeonghan tongued each other over the tip of his cock and ran their mouths up and down the shaft, making loud sucking sounds as they went.

“Fu-fuck,” Joshua cried, actual tears pouring from his eyes. He’d never even had his cock touched by somebody else before, and now two people were sucking him like it was their life’s work.

Before he could comprehend, Seungcheol’s mouth was on his, hands cupping his face again. He could kind of taste himself on Seungcheol’s tongue – salty, and bitter, and not really pleasant. Seungcheol’s thumbs swept away the tears on his face while Jeonghan halted, moving off his cock. “Shhhh,” Seungcheol whispered, gently letting his lips go. He hovered, staring. “What’s wrong? What’s wrong, Joshua?”

He looked up, a little tear-stained and glassy-eyed. “N-nothing,” he whimpered softly.

“ _Joshua._ ” Seungcheol kissed him again – so softly it made him cry again. “Please tell us. Do you not like it? Do you want us to stop?”

Joshua shook his head quickly. “It… it feels _good_ ,” he whispered, almost fearful. “S-s _-so_ good. Fu-fucking amazing. I can’t believe it’s real.”

Seungcheol let out a little chuckle. “Is that all?”

“I never felt anything so good,” he admitted, entirely embarrassed now.

Jeonghan pressed a chaste little kiss to Joshua’s cheek. “I want to make you feel good,” he whispered in his ear. “Please? I want to make you happy.”

Seungcheol dropped a peck on Joshua’s nose. “We’ll make you feel better than you’ve ever felt, if you let us. We’d like to make you cry with pleasure, if you don’t hold back anymore.”

Joshua could only nod.

They both swarmed back to sucking Joshua’s cock together: Seungcheol held it out from Joshua’s tummy at the base, and let Jeonghan envelop the tip in his mouth, moaning down on Joshua’s flesh. The feeling of it raised every hair on Joshua’s body as he breathed heavily, the sound of it simply encouraging his lovers.

Joshua twitched this way and that as he was pleasured: Jeonghan took control of sucking his cock while Seungcheol made teasing his nipples a primary concern. The two of them delved into Joshua’s body with a relish, and as promised, Joshua didn’t hold back, whining and whimpering and moaning all the while.

“Joshua,” came a hot whisper. “Would you like to be taken?”

Joshua nodded dizzily. Anything more than this, he would take.

Seungcheol’s hot body left for a few agonizing moments while Joshua was given full view of how Jeonghan’s mouth plumped and changed as he deep-throated him. Jeonghan looked up at Joshua with lust in his eyes, working to make it look prettier. He didn’t have to. It was already the prettiest thing Joshua had ever seen.

Seungcheol returned with an embarrassingly large bottle of lubricant, sliding it Jeonghan’s way, making him suck very harshly as he slid off Joshua’s dick, making him cry out loudly.

“Would you like to do the honors?” Seungcheol smiled kindly.

“Really? Thank you.”

“I get to suck his hot little cock while you do.”

“Deal.”

Seungcheol’s lips descended on Joshua once more – they were thicker and softer than Jeonghan’s, a little cooler, but very accommodating, and his tongue was thicker against his skin.

Joshua gripped the bedsheets in pleasure. Slowly, something began to move against his ass.

“This isn’t going to work,” Jeonghan whined.

Seungcheol simply held out an arm and pulled Joshua’s thighs back, mouth popping off his cock to hold his legs back and apart. “Better?”

Jeonghan gave him a kiss. “Much, thank you.” Then, without any warning, he pressed a well-lubricated finger into Joshua’s entrance.

“Fuck!”

Seungcheol quickly made use of his free hand to pump Joshua’s cock in a desperate attempt to bring him pleasure. “Shhh,” he tried to soothe. “It’ll feel nice in a moment.”

Joshua was lost, drowning in a sea of sensations he’d never had before. A hot hand pumping his cock, a thumb wiping pre-cum off the slit. A digit in his ass, softly moving, not entirely unpleasant. Two people, working to pleasure him.

“Shit,” he choked out. “Feels… good.”

“Yeah?”

Jeonghan simply worked with plenty of lubricant to force a second finger in, since his digits were slimmer than Seungcheol’s: slowly he pumped them in and out, gently trying to scissor Joshua to make it more comfortable.

Joshua was twitching, his entire body clenching and relaxing over and over. There was too much going on. He felt like he was going to die and go to heaven. Or maybe he was already there. That was quite plausible. His jaw hung open, and he didn’t have the sense about him to be embarrassed about how desperately he was moaning for _more_ , _more, more, fuck him more_.

Jeonghan and Seungcheol shared a look. A look that said: _isn’t he adorable?_

Eventually, it was all a bit too slow.

“Please,” Joshua panted, sweat beading down his face. “Please fuck me. I don’t – I don’t know how much more I can handle. Please fuck me, I need to be fucked.”

Seungcheol smiled a little, turning to Jeonghan. “Babe… lube me?”

Jeonghan eagerly moved to coat his boyfriend’s cock in lubricant, using both hands to jerk him off slightly, coating every inch.

Seungcheol moved to kiss him darkly, grinning. “Remember,” he cooed, “this is about Joshua tonight. You can have your turn tomorrow.”

Joshua was beyond noticing very much, his nails almost poking holes through the bedsheets. But he sure as hell noticed when Seungcheol began to press inside him. He was _huge_ – Jeonghan’s fingers couldn’t compare. It was like the eye of a needle being blown wide open by a torpedo. It felt like he was break or rip under the pressure, but he never did. Seungcheol moved slowly, holding Joshua’s thighs with gentle hands until he was all the way in and Joshua broke out into flustered mutters peppered with tears.

“Shhhh,” he tried to soothe. “Do… do you want to-”

“N-no, do-don’t stop, please…”

Jeonghan’s lips curled over Joshua’s cock from the side, working hard to bring him pleasure. It worked: Seungcheol was able to _very gently_ work in and out of Joshua while he was distracted.

It didn’t take him long before he was swiftly hitting into Joshua’s moany, twitching body, hips smacking against his thighs. Jeonghan had had to stop blowing him, opting for a hand instead, and Joshua seemed to be in ecstasy, eyes rolled into the back of his head.

“Oh!” Joshua’s eyes suddenly blew wide open in pleasure. “Oh, oh, fuck!”

Seungcheol smirked, hitting in the same away.

“Fuck, fuck!” Joshua was crying again, but it was obviously in pleasure, a few tears dripping down his temples. “Please, oh, fu-fuck, I’m!”

Joshua’s prostate was abused as Jeonghan cruelly created a small ring at the base of his cock, denying him the ability to cum until suddenly releasing. Joshua covered his stomach and chest with several spurts from his twitching cock, some of it even flying into his hair.

Seungcheol could only behold the sight in pleasure before he began to hasten, hitting into Joshua’s body with all his might. Within a few seconds he pulled out, ripping the condom off his cock in order to come all over him: most of it landed with Joshua’s cum on his stomach. “Ah, fuck,” he whispered, jacking off a little. “You’re so pretty.”

Joshua’s mind was entirely hazy, but he could remember one thing. One thing. Jeonghan hadn’t come yet. He flung out a hand in a desperate attempt to find his cock.

“It’s okay,” Jeonghan whispered gently. “You don’t have to. It’s your birthday.”

He shook his head, most of his vision still vivid white. “I want to.” His hand wrapped around Jeonghan’s almost-limp cock, gently pumping it for a moment.

Seungcheol had gone and returned, and Joshua hadn’t quite noticed: his stomach was wiped with some kind of material, and then he moved to sit up, sliding his mouth around Jeonghan’s cock without asking.

Nobody in the room minded.

Joshua was a sloppy blowjob, being a first-timer, but he seemed to get the gist of it slowly, simply trying to repeat the same tricks Jeonghan had played along his cock earlier.

It was when Joshua looked up with those large, dark eyes – so willing to please, _desperate_ to please – that Jeonghan lost what little bit of sense he had left, gripping Joshua’s face so that he could buck his hips into his mouth. Joshua choked, quite loudly, but somehow he genuinely enjoyed being used like that.

“Can I finish in your mouth?”

The only answer Joshua gave was to suck harder, and that was all that was needed.

They fell asleep in parts of clothing; Joshua was in clean boxers, and Seungcheol too: Jeonghan had managed to find briefs and a t-shirt both before hitting the sack. Joshua was curled up in the middle of the bed. Seungcheol was being a big spoon on his right, and his left hand was safely tucked in Jeonghan’s. Joshua was the first to fall asleep.

Over his head, Seungcheol looked at Jeonghan. “I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you too.” Jeonghan looked at the sleeping man between them. “Thank you. For being my boyfriend. For letting him be our boyfriend, too.”

Seungcheol smiled, his head slowly resting on the pillows again. “I love him too, you know.”

“Yeah,” Jeonghan yawned, ready to fall asleep. “I know.”


	2. Part Two

He woke up first, sore all over, especially _inside_. His muscles all strained, as if he’d been in dance practice all day, his knees felt like jelly and he felt like his ass had been blown wide open. He knew there was nothing inside, but there was still a ghost feeling of something being there.

When he opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was Jeonghan.

Jeonghan. His best friend since the beginning. The man he had pined over for far too long. He was beautiful, with his peaceful expression, hair spread out over the pillow.

Turning around, there was Seungcheol. He’d been spooning him. His huge, warm body seemed too large for such a puppy-like face: it was still and peaceful in sleep. He seemed some five years younger this way.

Cringing against the various aches in his body – why the hell did his _shoulders_ hurt? – Joshua slowly got up, being extremely careful not to wake anybody else up. He wasn’t sure how he would deal with that kind of awkward encounter. It involved him standing on a wobbly mattress, but he eventually made his way down to slid ground, where his legs seemed to hold a little better. He didn’t look back, simply picking around the dorm for a fresh towel and some clothes.

He felt kind of gross and sticky. Probably from the sweat more than anything.

The shower started cold, but went hot _very_ quickly: Joshua scrubbed up quickly, using copious amounts of soap and shampoo until every inch of him was squeaky clean. Even the bits that hurt the most. His chest was dappled in bruises, as were his thighs, and he had a hickey low on his neck that he reckoned he could hide with a collared shirt.

It was already eleven by the time Joshua stepped out of the shower: he dried and dressed, ready to flee the apartment first chance he had. He just needed to retrieve his belt.

It was on the floor beside the bed – almost under it. What really hit Joshua in the face – made it all so much worse – was what was on the bed.

Seungcheol was spooning Jeonghan. They were curled together, pressed up against each other. Still asleep. They had reached out for each other and met in the middle of the bed. As if Joshua had never been there.

_That’s how it’s meant to be,_ he realized. The thought had a measured tone to it, because he’d already known that was how it would be, no matter how devastating. They had given him a birthday gift. Now the gift-giving was over and the world had returned to how it should be.

With Joshua alone, once again.

He did feel a little guilty, heading for the front door with his huge coat on. He was planning on being gone for as long as was physically possible, and there wasn’t any wine left for Jeonghan to gorge himself on. He simply gripped a pencil and a piece of paper, scribbling on it. When he was done he left it very obviously in the middle of the table, put on his boots, and let the door close behind him.

 

_Thanks for the birthday present. I’ll be home late. Don’t wait up._

 

Joshua was on a mission: go to every café in Seoul, try their bestselling coffee and their bestselling dessert, and take his mind off the last twelve hours of his life.

He knew it was best for everybody if he just forgot it had ever happened. If he let loose and pretended it never happened at all. That way Seungcheol and Jeonghan wouldn’t have to remember it either. Then maybe, in time, Joshua could act like a normal friend to them both again.

But he couldn’t forget, and the harder he tried, the more he remembered. He remembered hot, wet tongues on his cock, he remembered lips on his thighs, hot whispers in his ear, hands trailing over his skin, bitterness in his mouth, he remembered crying and moaning and being praised for the sounds he made. Joshua remembered what Jeonghan looked with swollen, pink lips between two curtains of dark hair, he remembered how gently Seungcheol held his face and kissed him and was careful over him.

Looking back, with daylight surrounding him, he realized it was probably a bit more than being careful. Seungcheol had stopped often to ask whether it really was what Joshua wanted. In hindsight, he worried that Seungcheol only asked because _he_ didn’t really want to do it, and was hoping that he would give him an out. The idea consumed Joshua.

The thought that Seungcheol had been begging for Joshua to give him an out, and that Jeonghan had been drunk on an entire bottle of wine, gave him a sour taste in the back of his throat. He had taken advantage of them. They hadn’t really meant to do that to him, but they had offered, and he had accepted.

_See?_ a snarky voice in the back of his head uttered smugly. _Told you it would be messed up on the other side. But no. You couldn’t keep your dick in your pants for ten minutes. You just had to get your due._

He shook his head to himself over a green tea latte. They had offered. How was he supposed to have known what was really going on? They had something between them on the underside that made him do that, and he wasn’t privy to the details. He didn’t want to know, either. Especially not if it was something they were going to do on the regular. If it was, he was pretty sure they’d seduce Jihoon next to be a threesome. Maybe they were just those kinds of people.

The shame outweighed everything else. He was so embarrassed. Everybody in the room had known that he was a pathetic loser with two unrequited crushes. Everybody had known he was a horndog with no boundaries. Everybody had known, and they had pity-fucked him as a birthday gift.

It felt _dark_ in his stomach. Like there was no light getting into his life. He couldn’t see past his own embarrassment. He’d allowed it to happen. Willed it to happen. _Asked_ for it. He was a fool. The consequences were bad. So bad.

He doubted it would have a lasting effect on his friends’ relationship. They were happy together, and it was their idea. They had each other. They’d get over it.

Joshua? No, he wouldn’t get over it. He was alone, alone with his miserable past and miserable thoughts. He was alone with the feeling of Jeonghan’s hands in his hair, the memory of Seungcheol’s dark eyes looking right at him. And he would just have to learn how to survive with it, somehow. It was just like before. Nothing that could be done. Just the way it is. He would suffer alone, and in silence.

**Seungcheol:** Where are you? Are you alright?  
**Joshua:** Fine, hyung.  
**Seungcheol:** …remember to eat well. Don’t skip meals or eat bad food. Have something wholesome to eat.  
**Joshua:** Yeah. Thanks.

It felt weird to call him hyung, when about twelve hours ago he’d had his cock up Joshua’s ass, but there was nothing for it. Joshua was determined to go right back to the way things were. When he still pretended to be everybody’s best friend.

But, obediently, he left the café he was currently in and went off to the closest market to grab some proper food. Street food was proper food, right? He bought some seafood pancakes and kimbap, and walked through the shopping district, steaming food in his hands. When he was done, he just continued his café tour.

_00:57_. His birthday had already passed entirely, and he hadn’t realized it. Looking back, it was the birthday that had started in the most _amazing_ way, but ended up being the _worst_ birthday he could ever have imagined.

But it _was_ late. Hopefully, the lovebirds had already gone to bed, and he wouldn’t have to face them.

The dorm was entirely dark when he unlocked the door: he took his winter gear off _very_ quietly, deliberately avoiding the planks in the floor he knew creaked really badly.

He was thrown when the light was turned on and the other 12 members stood in the middle of the room with a huge cream cake in their hands.

“ _Surprise! Happy Birthday!_ ”

Joshua just stood there, flabbergasted, but he smiled to see his youngest members back again. “Y-you guys!”

Soonyoung laughed, gripping him and pulling him towards the table, where Vernon was carefully lighting all the candles. “We’ve actually already passed your birthday because you stayed out too late, but we can’t let it pass without celebrating it! Now, you _have_ to make a wish before you blow out your candles, alright?”

Joshua waited patiently for Vernon to light them all, then took a deep breath.

_Please_ , he thought, _please let everything between Seungcheol and Jeonghan and me be alright._ With that, he made a big show of blowing out all his candles.

The party was enjoyable enough: there was cake (most of it getting thrown at various individuals) and music, even though it was pretty damn late. Around three, everybody scattered to bed, and Joshua slid into his sleeping bag. He was simply happy that he didn’t officially dorm with the lovebirds. Ever since they got together, they pretty much dormed by themselves in a room. Nobody wanted to be within earshot.

 

“…Cheol?”

Seungcheol nodded slightly, not looking away from the lightbulb he was fixing. “Yeah, me too. I’m worried too.”

“He’s avoiding us, I know he is. It’s been two whole weeks and I haven’t been able to get two minutes alone with him.” Jeonghan folded his arms, but undid the gesture just as quick. “Do you think, maybe… he didn’t like it after all?”

“He finished, didn’t he?” Seungcheol muttered.

“He did…” Jeonghan paced to and fro a little alongside the step-ladder. “I’m just… do you think he only just wanted to use us for one night? Maybe that’s it. Maybe he…” Jeonghan’s voice got very soft all of a sudden, as he halted and looked down. “Maybe he doesn’t _want_ to be our boyfriend.”

The lightbulb switched on and Seungcheol quickly came down the step ladder to hold Jeonghan in his arms. “Hey, now. Who told you to start thinking that way? Don’t say scary things like that.”

“But it’s true! Has he been acting particularly _boyfriend-y_ to _you_ lately?”

“…nnnno,” Seungcheol admitted slowly. “But he probably just needs to get used to the idea. You know, it’s hard for him. After all, we were his first. And getting used to the whole _poly_ idea is hard for anybody. _Especially_ somebody like our Joshua. Don’t worry, Hannie. He’s probably just being the awkward bean he normally is.”

That answer didn’t sate Jeonghan one little bit. “I need to _know_ ,” he complained when Seungcheol moved to fold the step ladder up again, putting it in the corner. “And it really bothers me that you don’t give a shit at all, you know! Is having him as our boyfriend only my idea? You don’t see to be very interested in him at all. Do you not like him as much as-”

Seungcheol turned back to him with an angry kind of fire in his eyes. “I _love_ Joshua,” he hissed angrily. “Don’t you _dare_ make it out like I don’t love him!”

Jeonghan jumped at the sudden ferocity and quickly dissolved into full-blown upset, getting Seungcheol to put his arms around him again. “I just – I just! I just want to love him! A-and for him to love me! And you! I want us to – to be together and – and – and! He doesn’t _love us!_ ”

“Shhhh,” Seungcheol cooed, holding Jeonghan tightly. He stroked his hair softly. “Shh, I’m sure that’s not true. I’m sorry for snapping at you, I didn’t mean to. I’m just tightly wound, too. I want to be together with him, too. You know you two are the most important people to me, right?” He cupped Jeonghan’s face gently and gave him a sweet kiss. “So important.”

The pretty boy melted in his boyfriend’s embrace, calming down. “I’m just so worried we did something wrong,” he sighed as Seungcheol trailed kisses over his face. “That he… doesn’t want us. Because I want him, Seungcheol. Real bad.”

“Me too,” Seungcheol sighed, pressing his forehead to Jeonghan’s. “I want him to be with us, too. But… I don’t know, maybe he’s shy.”

“I’m sick of maybe.” Jeonghan pulled away. “I want to _know_ what’s wrong. I want to talk to him. Please, Seungcheol?”

The man sighed. “Listen, two weeks isn’t that long. Give him one more week, and if nothing changes, we talk to him. Alright? We don’t want to scare him.”

Jeonghan could see the sense in that. “Alright,” he mumbled. “One week.”

 

“Hey, Joshua!”

Joshua swallowed hard against a lump in his throat. He’d been doing so well at ignoring them so far.

Jeonghan slung an arm around Joshua’s shoulders. “What’s up? Where are you going?”

“Out.”

“Can I come? I’ll grab my coat!”

“No!” Joshua reeled back from how harsh he sounded, and how evenly the hurt was spread across his best friend’s face. “I mean, you can’t come with me. That would be, uh, awkward.”

“Why?” Jeonghan demanded.

Joshua just said the first thing that came to him. “I… I’m going out on a date. She-she won’t expect me to show up with a third wheel.” And before he could be questioned any further about his make-believe girlfriend, Joshua left and closed the door behind him.

Jeonghan stood there for about twenty seconds, in shock. Joshua was out on a date. With a _girl._ And Jeonghan wasn’t even considered part of his life. Joshua was out dating people that weren’t him or Seungcheol. Like they had meant nothing to him. Like they weren’t even together.

“Seungcheol!” he screamed in horror. He turned instantly, darting in and out of rooms in search of him. “Seungcheol, Seungcheol, Seungcheol!”

The leader sped out of a room to grip Jeonghan tightly. “Hey! What is it? What’s wrong? Why are you screaming?!”

“Joshua!” Tears were blindingly starting to fall down his cheeks. “Joshua, he’s-! He’s!”

“Shhh, deep breaths. What’s wrong? You have to tell me what Joshua did.”

Jeonghan gripped Seungcheol hard, in complete distress. “He-he’s gone out… on a _date_ with a _girl_.”

The information didn’t really register for a moment. “What?” he asked breathlessly. “What? Jeonghan, how do you know that?”

“He _told me_ , just before he _left_!”

Seungcheol guided Jeonghan to the couch, but had to sit down himself, his legs going weak. Joshua had left them, without a word, to go date somebody else. He’d been cold and austere for weeks now, and without informing anybody of his intentions, he had decided to go out on a date with a girl by himself. Seungcheol held Jeonghan to comfort him, but on the inside, he was crumbling apart himself.

Joshua. _Their_ Joshua. Their best friend and boyfriend. Or at least, somebody they assumed was their boyfriend, since he agreed. The one with those large, dark eyes and a cute smile. The one they had both been in love with, since the very beginning. He was betraying them. Dating _somebody else._ Somebody else got to go have coffee with him, see him smile.

“I-I can’t wait anymore,” Jeonghan sobbed. “I need him back, Seungcheol. I need him back!”

“Yes.” Seungcheol didn’t lose any time in agreeing. “Yes, I need him back too. We’ll talk to him when he gets home.”

“What if he kisses her when he’s out?” Jeonghan gasped, trying to slake his sobs. “What if some random girl gets our kisses? W-what if he falls-”

“Shhhh,” Seungcheol cooed gently, rubbing Jeonghan’s back. “That won’t happen,” he lied. “That won’t happen.”

 

The door had barely fallen shut before Jeonghan and Seungcheol were there. They looked exhausted, Jeonghan especially.

“Joshua, we’d like to speak to you.”

“Can’t it wait?” Joshua asked, desperate not to be in one room with them. “I have stuff I need to do.”

“What stuff?”

“Stuff!”

“This is _very_ important,” Seungcheol pressed, the line of his mouth hard.

Joshua took another look at how dishevelled Jeonghan looked, and then at the stern look on Seungcheol’s face. Something must have happened. Something different, not to do with his birthday. “What’s wrong?” he muttered, still trying to hide his desperation. “Jeonghan?”

“Step into the room, Joshua.”

It felt in some way like he was being led to the gallows: Joshua was marched into Seungcheol and Jeonghan’s room and sat down on a chair while the other two sat on the edge of the bed. It was slightly similar to a child being talked to by his parents.

Seungcheol folded his hands together, leaning forward. “Joshua, I know all of this is new and different for you,” he started. “But what you did today was unacceptable.”

“…what?”

“You can’t just go out and date other people randomly, that’s not fair to us. If you find somebody else… we want you to come to us. Explain it. If you find somebody else you like, we’d like to meet her. But you can’t just not tell us and go off gallivanting on dates. Do you-”

That was it. That was the moment Joshua exploded, his face deepening in the darkest red color he’d ever gone, standing up, _furious_. “What does it have _dick_ to do with you two?!” he screamed, making both of them lean back in surprise. “It has _nothing_ to do you with you who I date! Who I spend time with! Do you think just because you did me a favor that you suddenly own me now?! You think because I accepted your pity one time you can tell me who I go out with?! Who do you think you are, interfering in my life like that?! You’re already so happy together, and you get to laugh at how pathetic I am behind my back, why can’t you just leave me alone?!”

Jeonghan stood too, leaning in, screaming right back. “What are you _talking_ about?!”

Joshua’s hands became fists, and he had to work _very_ hard not to punch Jeonghan in the face. “You!” he screamed back. “Both of you! I’m sure you thought you were really funny offering to pity-fuck me for my birthday! Well I’m sorry I didn’t realize it was a joke! I’m sorry I made you do that!”

Within moments, his anger had dissolved into tears of fear and pain. “I’m sorry! I just wanted to feel loved _once_ and I’m sorry I made you do it for me! I’m sorry that I’m so in love with you I can’t even think straight! But do you _have_ to make fun of me like this? Can’t you just let me suffer in peace? It’s bad enough that you only screwed me because I’m _pathetic_ and it’s bad enough that I _accepted_ but do you two have to add this on top of that?! When will I be hurting enough for you two?!”

Jeonghan was completely disarmed. Standing there with such innocent shock on his face. He had no idea how to react to that.

“… _what_?” Seungcheol whispered, standing up. “You… _what_?”

Joshua shook his head, wiping the stupid tears off his face. He had nothing left to say, and even if had, he probably couldn’t get it past the tears.

“Seungcheol,” Jeonghan stuttered. “Seung-Seungcheol, he thinks… He didn’t understand! He thinks we used him!”

The leader, in all confusion, simply leaned in and kissed Joshua full on the mouth: all it earned him was a hefty push against his chest, disengaging him.

Joshua pointed directly at Jeonghan. “ _He’s_ your boyfriend you know!”

“But you’re my boyfriend too!” Seungcheol cried back in confusion.

“ _Excuse me?!_ ”

Jeonghan had to take a few deep breathes. “Okay,” he said. “Okay, I think I know what’s happened here. We all just need to… calm down.”

It took a few moments but eventually everybody was seated again. Jeonghan looked Joshua in the eyes. “Joshua, on your birthday… okay, I know it was probably my fault, ‘cause I had so much to drink, but when I said I didn’t mean… uh, I didn’t mean _we know you like us and we’ll have sex with you because we pity you_ or something gross like that! What I meant was, I’m _in love with you, Seungcheol is in love with you,_ and we want you with us for the rest of our lives.”

Disbelief shot through Joshua. This had to be another joke, another attempt at making him feel better.

Seungcheol cleared his throat. “We were asking you to _be our boyfriend,_ Joshua. We… want you. And you just left the next morning. I’ll admit… it hurt a lot not to wake up with you. I thought I had you for good, that you were staying with us. Then you were avoiding us and I thought you just needed time to get used to the idea… but all this time, you thought we had _toyed with you_?”

“O-of course you were,” Joshua whimpered, constantly wiping at tears that wouldn’t stop coming. “I-it was just once, for my birthday, you said so. It- it was a pity fuck. Because you knew I loved you.”

“Of course we knew you loved us,” Jeonghan muttered, rolling his eyes. “We read your blog.”

Joshua’s jaw dropped.

“The point is-” Seungcheol muttered, re-directing the conversation, “-that we were asking you to be our boyfriend. When I first confessed to Jeonghan he turned me down because he said he liked me, but he liked you, too. And I told him I felt the same way. Just that convincing him would have been easier first than convincing you, ‘cause you’re a stubborn shit. And we both agreed that we would date, on the premise that we would eventually ask you to be a part of it. Because we want you to be a part of it, Joshua.”

Joshua’s brain had to work overtime, trying to settle all of that in his mind.

Jeonghan leaned in even more. “We weren’t pitying you. We just… wanted to love you.” His eyes were starting to get wet. “And we were hoping you would love us back just as much. It wasn’t a once-off thing. You thought we were playing you. We want you in our lives, forever.”

“Wait, wait, wait. That makes no sense. You can’t have three people in a relationship.”

Jeonghan and Seungcheol glanced at each other and back at Joshua. “Why not?” they chorused.

“I love you,” Seungcheol said softly. “And I love Jeonghan. And I don’t see any reason why I shouldn’t be able to love you both. _So_ much.”

Jeonghan sniffled, hands turning into fists. “I can’t believe you thought we were playing you for a single _fuck_ ,” he spat, upset. “I can’t believe you’ve thought that all this time. I love you. I love you so much, Joshua! Ho-how could I do something like that to you?”

Joshua was still getting used to the idea that he hadn’t been played. “So… you… weren’t laughing at me?”

“No!”

Seungcheol stroked Jeonghan’s hair softly. “Shh, it’s alright. It was all just one big misunderstanding,” he whispered softly. “We misunderstood him, and he misunderstood us. It’s going to be alright, Hannie. We’re going to fix it.”

“Joshie.” Jeonghan moved off his seat to throw his arms around Joshua’s waist. “Please don’t think bad things. I love you. I want to be your boyfriend. I want to take you out for coffee and suck your cock and make you laugh at breakfast!”

“J-Jeonghannie…” Joshua shook his head a little, trying to straighten out his thoughs, but his arms automatically curled around Jeonghan too. “I don’t… I’m not… are you guys _serious_?”

“I’ve never been more serious about anything,” Seungcheol acknowledged. “Joshua, we are in love with you. I want to hold you and kiss you and make you moan my name in the night.”

Joshua went bright pink.

“And I’d like it if you wanted that, too.”

Jeonghan looked up with the most _desperate, heartbroken_ expression Joshua had ever seen. “Please?” he whispered. “Joshua, I want you in my life.”

“…I love you,” Joshua whispered. “So much. Both of you so, so much. But what if-”

Jeonghan arrested his lips instantly, before he could protest. He kissed him so happily, Joshua felt like Jeonghan had to be high on drugs or something. Within a few more seconds Seungcheol was by his side, kissing his temple sweetly. “Thank you for loving us,” he whispered. “Joshua.”

He moved one hand to curl around Seungcheol’s waist, looking up fearfully. “Can… Can I really have you? Both? A-as… y-y’know… b-bo-boy… b-boyf… um…”

Jeonghan giggled to himself, nodding, squatting by Joshua’s side a little. “Yes. Boyfriends. Forever and ever. The three of us.”

Joshua blushed, and then covered his face with his hands, shrinking a little. “It’s so embarrassing,” he whispered after a moment. “I’m so happy.”

Seungcheol laughed happily, kissing the backs of Joshua’s hands. “Phew.”

Jeonghan hugged his waist again. “I was so worried somebody else was going to get your precious kisses,” he mumbled. “Don’t go on dates with other people anymore. Only go on dates with us. We’ll spoil you properly. Don’t go with other people. I don’t care how pretty they are.”

Seungcheol’s grin grew dark. “We’re very jealous of people outside of us,” he mumbled in Joshua’s ear. “Don’t go on dates with people that aren’t us.”

Joshua peeked between his fingers and sighed, giving up. “I… I didn’t… really… go on a date… with anybody. I just wanted to be alone for a while and Jeonghan wasn’t going to let up.”

They stared at him for a moment: then Jeonghan stomped Joshua in the inside of the thigh. “You asshole! I was worried! Oh, shit, Joshua. Are you okay?”

Joshua balked forward in pain, none of his bruises quite healed yet. “Fine,” he whimpered in a falsetto. “Just fine.”

Seungcheol pressed his forehead to Joshua’s shoulder lightly. “Hey. Don’t do that again. We were… we were so upset. We thought you were cheating on us.”

Jeonghan stood up, both hands in his sides. “I’m going to fuck him,” he announced. “Until he’s screaming my name. I want to love him.”

Seungcheol chuckled. “Excellent idea. I think I’d enjoy a Spit Roast Joshua.”

“Fuck both of you,” Joshua muttered. “I don’t want to have sex with you.”

The two halted in their joking to turn back to him.

“Uh,” Seungcheol said. “We were just joking, Joshua. We won’t force you- no, of course we wouldn’t!” He stared in panic for a moment when Joshua began to cry again. “No, baby, we wouldn’t do something you didn’t like.”

“…I’m sorry,” Jeonghan mumbled. “I didn’t realize you didn’t-… want… it that way.”

“Stop coming to conclusions by yourself!” Joshua sniffled. “I just – I just…”

It took Jeonghan a moment. “You’ve just been through a lot of emotional turmoil lately and you just want to be cuddled?”

Joshua nodded twice, and within seconds he was scooped off the chair and onto the bed, sandwiched in between the two men he loved most in the world. They each crossed an arm over his body and held him tightly.

“I love you,” Jeonghan told him happily, pecking his cheekbone sweetly.

“I love you, too.” Seungcheol did the same on the other side.

Joshua simply lay there for a moment before reaching out to hold their hands. “I love you guys, too.”


	3. Part Three

He was in the kitchen, preparing food. Innocent. Alone. Soft. Such an _easy_ target. He was wearing a baggy white t-shirt and a pair of slacks he usually reserved for dance practice. He looked so soft and dreamy, humming to himself.

Seungcheol slinked up and pounced, sliding his hands around Joshua’s waist and over his chest, pulling his body up behind him. “Good morning, delicious,” he greeted happily, pressing his face into the crook of Joshua’s neck.  

Joshua jumped but laughed happily, turning his head a little in order to spot his boyfriend in his peripheral view. “Good morning, Cheol.”

Seungcheol’s lips worried against Joshua’s skin, nibbling his neck gently for a moment. “Whatcha doing?”

Joshua looked down. “Oh! I was, uh. Making toast. Cinnamon toast. It’s a breakfast treat we used to have in America.”

Seungcheol surveyed the countertop. “That’s an awful lot of toast you’ve made,” he noted happily, snuggling further into Joshua’s neck. His arms wound a little tighter as he breathed in Joshua’s early-morning scent.

Joshua’s cheeks were tinged with pink. “I was, uh, going to make some extra, uhm, in-in case you guys got hungry.”

“You were making breakfast for us,” he stated, gently creating a trail of tiny hickeys on Joshua’s neck. “What a lovely boyfriend we have. Jeonghan will be _so_ pleased. You know what a selfish little princess he is. He’ll be delighted you’ve brought him breakfast in bed.”

Joshua hummed, enjoying how Seungcheol’s warm hands slid over his stomach. “If you keep distracting me, nobody will get breakfast, in bed or otherwise.”

“I’m not distracting you,” the sleepy leader mumbled, crossing behind Joshua’s neck to plant his lips on the other side.

“You’re extremely distracting,” Joshua laughed. He managed to finish the toast off with Seungcheol hanging around him, and arranged the slices along a tray prettily. “Are you done consuming my jugular? Let’s go feed the princess.”

“I heard that,” said princess moaned from the bedroom.

Joshua laughed and brought the tray in with some banana milk and straws. “Seungcheol said it first, I was just trying to speak his language. I made you breakfast, though, if you’d like.”

Jeonghan finally stirred, moving over in the tangle that was the bedsheets before coming up, hair everywhere. “Breakfast?”

All three of them sat in various positions in the bed, munching on toast covered in hot, buttery, sugary cinnamon goo and slurping up their banana milk respectively. After that, Joshua simply lay down, staring at the ceiling happily.

“Hey, Cheol?”

“Hmm?”

“Why is Joshua doing that creepy smile?” Jeonghan’s face came into view just after his hair began to tickle Joshua’s face. “Why are you smiling like a creep?”

“I’m not a creep,” Joshua grinned. “I’m just happy.”

“Why?” he demanded.

Joshua giggled and reached up to kiss Jeonghan’s perplexed face. “That’s why!”

Jeonghan suddenly went very pink, moving back to sit where he had been shyly, looking away. Joshua smiled a little more before noticing the silence, turning onto his side to observe his boyfriends. “What? What did I say?”

“Jeonghan gets very tsundere when he’s just woken up,” Seungcheol grinned softly.

“Am not.”

Joshua bridled about that for a moment before giving Seungcheol a panicked look. “Was – was what I did okay? I mean, I mean I kissed him and not you! B-but only because you’re over there! I – I don’t love you any less and-”

Seungcheol chuckled to himself. “You’re adorable. Don’t worry. You don’t have to make sure everything is equal between us. I got to kiss your neck when Jeonghan was still asleep, anyway, right? Not everything has to be perfectly equal and in balance. As long as you still love both of us, it’s good.”

Joshua blushed, embarrassed, sitting up. “I guess I’m still an idiot about this. Sorry.”

“It just takes some time,” Seungcheol shrugged. “We don’t mind. After the scare you gave us yesterday…”

Joshua dipped his head in embarrassment. “Sorry,” he mumbled.

Jeonghan groaned a little and flopped over on his side for a moment. “Shit. I need to take a shower.”

Joshua cocked his head in question.

Seungcheol simply pointed at where Jeonghan’s underwear was tented.

Joshua’s face flooded pink in shock. “Wha-what?! H-how?! Why!”

Jeonghan pointed an accusing finger at him. “It’s your fault,” he muttered lazily. “You look so soft and squishy and comfortable dressed like that. Like you would melt in my arms. I want to ram into you so hard you make cute noises.”

The poor vocalist went redder at that, all the way to the tips of his ears, unable to react.

Seungcheol played a finger over Jeonghan’s throat. “Babe,” he grinned, “you’re making him go all blushy. Now _I_ need a shower, too.”

Jeonghan looked up. “Sorry, not sorry, dickhead,” he grinned happily. “We can shower together. I’ll take care of you.” One of his fingers gently traced Seungcheol’s lips, and the leader kissed the finger back.

Joshua looked away. Watching them was too embarrassing. They were still a _couple_ in his mind – he couldn’t change the mentality. They were them, a couple, and he was him, just Joshua. He felt like he was intruding on an incredibly intimate moment that he wasn’t invited in on.

“Joshua?” Suddenly, Seungcheol had crawled close. “What are you making that face for?”

Joshua backed up against the end of the bed, blushing. “Uh-uh I’m not making a face! What face?”

“You’re looking at us like you weren’t supposed to see that.”

Jeonghan folded his arms from behind his boyfriend. “It’s cause he still doesn’t believe he’s really our boyfriend.”

Joshua flustered. “Um, I mean, uh, is it really okay? Be-because I know you guys are happy together and like really happy and I don’t want to be in the way I mean like it’s fine right if I just come by every so often I mean I know you guys don’t hate me so that’s good enough and-”

“Make him stop,” Jeonghan whined. “Before he talks himself into breaking up with us.”

Seungcheol leaned forward and, in that eloquent way that only Seungcheol could ever perform, he kissed Joshua instead of explaining it to him. The softness of the gesture, however, made Joshua melt a little, a hand reaching to lay lightly on Seungcheol’s neck.

“Oh,” he whispered, pink-faced when Seungcheol let him go.

“Love you,” Seungcheol said casually, a happy smile on his face.

“Y-you too.” Joshua had to let go, turning to flip his face against the bed. “It’s so embarrassing,” he muttered, the sound muffled through the sheets. “I’m so happy, I could cry.” To accentuate the sentiment, he kicked his legs for a moment.

Jeonghan laughed, flopping on top of his boyfriend. “I’m happy too!”

Seungcheol moved to curl either young man under an arm each. “I’m happy,” he told them softly. “I’m really happy.”

Joshua peeked up, beginning to laugh when he saw the smiles on either of his boyfriend’s faces. He sat up and stretched slowly. “Hey guys? I’m really new to this… can… can I ask questions?”

“Sure.” Seungcheol leaned back on his elbows. “What do you want to know?”

Joshua blushed. “…what… what’s a Joshua Spit Roast?”

 

**The End.**


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